blahYeah. It was pretty much that bad. It was not, however, completely without value. Just mostly.
Quick summary of the movie:
Pro:
* Milla's naked ass
* Interesting color filters a pleasant surreal look to everything
* The outdoor sets were visually interesting
* Soundtrack didn't suck
* Most of the special effects were good
* Printable cell phone- nifty idea
* Nifty font/written language
* Motorcycle chase on the side of a building hasn't been done before. Absurd but innovative
* Color-changing hair and costumes. Not innovative, but nice to look at
*
phyrra probably has some 'con costume ideas* Milla saying that she wants to "kill every single human being" would be a great sound sample
Con:
* 5 minutes after expressing her desire to exterminate humanity, her mission in life mysteriously switches to protecting this one human child whom she's never met before
* Kid seriously creeped me right the fuck out. I think he's related to Christopher Walken or a clown or something
* Every other single word spoken by every single character
* So, what? The motorcycle's windscreen is impervious to minigun rounds or something?
* Any scene that Milla wasn't in
* Just about all of the scenes that she was in
* OMG they stick needles IN HER FUCKING EYES!!! AIEEEEEEE!!!
* The plot, or lack thereof
* Opening the movie with a 20 page voiceover explaining what the plot is supposed to be
* The indoor sets were freakin' ridiculous
* Nowhere near enough naked Milla
* In the future, everyone is a freaking idiot!
* Bad guys with machine guns insisting on using them as melee weapons
* Bad guy uniforms so bulky that they waddle through martial arts scenes
* Later, big bad guy sends a squad with just swords to attack Milla, who is clearly using IDKFA.
* Big bad guy seriously needs to pull the plugs out of his nose. This isn't the kiddie pool!
* They've taken the very very cool idea of Gunkata and twisted it into a mockery
* Fight scenes that are so absurdly unrealistic that they have to portray it in closeups or off-camera to keep the audience from laughing
* Narrative style, which in this case means "random scenes jumbled together with no logic whatsoever"
* A building shaped like a biohazard symbol? C'mon! That's too dumb to be stylish!
* Likewise the building shaped like a needle, with a heliport in the eye. No!
* DID I MENTION THAT THEY STUCK NEEDLES IN HER FUCKING EYES?!?
* Bad bad BAD cosmetic fangs! I've owned better!
* The special effects at the end make it clear that everyone working on the movie had just given up
* IN HER FUCKING EYES!!!
* No ninjas
