December 4th, 2009

Not Stupid - Advanced!

Maybe I don't take OKCupid seriously enough...

...but I'm thinking of picking some people on OKC on the sole basis of their profile photos and sending them this message:

Look, I find you attractive, but our match percentage is terrible. I can already see where this would go:
An initial spark of passion and a couple of exciting-yet-superficial dates...
Awkward sex followed by a slowly growing realization that we have absolutely nothing in common and are ideologically opposed to each other...
...climaxing in an angry, traumatic breakup with lots of shouting and tears.

So I've decided to just skip all of the hassle. I'm going to pick a random valuable object that I own and smash it, saving you the trouble of doing so in a fit of rage.
Please send me your mailing address, as I'll be sending you 10 of my CDs (chosen at random) that you would have "accidentally" taken with you when getting all of your stuff out of my place. In return, please mail me a pair of your underwear, since I would've stolen it anyway.

Angstfully Yours,

P.S.- I'm going to tell everyone that we had sex.

What do you think? Too "real"?
  • Current Mood
    amused amused