July 21st, 2006

Mortos

An epicurian I am not

Culinary question for you all:
If the instructions on the microwave kung pao tofu wrap say to wrap it in a paper towel before cooking but I don't have any paper towel handy, do you think that wrapping it in a sheet of 20 lb 8.5x11 paper will suffice?

Lunchtime roulette!

Update: Oh noes!!!! Dear God what have I done??? I scrounged up some napkins and decided to use them instead, not knowing that I was toying with Forces Man Was Not Meant To Dabble In! Unbeknownst to me, they fused into a hideous, slavering tofu wrap/napkin hybrid monster of doom! It ate right through the second sheet of paper I'd put down to keep it from sticking to the microwave and was working on digesting the oven itself when I intervened.

I tried to separate them. I really did. I worked feverishly to peel, pry, and pick at the papery parts! But like Brundle-Fly, in the end the only way to prevent further loss of life was to euthanize the poor brute.

Farewell, little tofu wrap. May you forgive the terrible injustice I've inflicted upon you, and may your short life serve as a warning to others who, in their hubris, would dare to challenge the natural order of lunch.
  • Current Mood
    hungry hungry
Throbulator

Friday Psychotic Episode

OH CRAP!!! There's this STUFF all over my body! It's horrible! There's even some in my mouth, and I can't get it off!! HELP!!!!!

Oh. It's skin. Um, never mind, then.

(Yes, I'm bored and tired at work. I hope we get to go see Clerks II tonight.)
  • Current Mood
    weird weird
Stupid brain!

And another thing...

Am I the only person who has nightmares about decompression? Not a pleasant way to start one's day (though admittedly only mildly more disquieting than the alarm clock).
  • Current Mood
    weird weird
Terminator

Because I'm on a random posting spree this evening...

Am I seriously the only person out there who sees how obvious it is that Grace Jones is a terminator?

If you see this, you're already dead.
Schwarzenegger is my bitch

I mean really, has there ever been any doubt? My guess is that she assassinated her designated target in 1972, then with no secondary targets and a few decades to kill before Judgment Day decided to become a model, singer, and actress (when she's not busy snapping random people in half with her bare hands).

Now you know.
  • Current Music
    Shore Lined Poison-Skinny Puppy