June 11th, 2006

Ninja Burger

Quick Ninja Movie Review: The Omen

Short summary: Whose butt did this movie fall out of?

Clearly there were no ninjas at work on this one. It's a total rehash of the equally bad `70's flick. The acting is good (particularly Julia Stiles, who should've known better) overall, but the only time this movie comes even close to scary is a couple of cheap shot "boo!" moments. Just... bad.

According to the movie, the son of Lucifer can only be killed by these 7 daggers, which must be thrust into him to the hilt in cross formations, and this must be done on sacred ground. In other words, this movie needed a ninja, and didn't get one. The presence of a ninja makes any ground sacred, and a drunk ninja with epilepsy could accomplish the required stabbiness in his sleep.

Moral of the story: without ninjas, mankind is doomed.
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