June 28th, 2005


Sacrifice to Dagon

Today marked my last Monday as an official employee of The Company. Next Monday I officially become "contractor scum", with all of the insecurity and pay cut that goes along with that. For now though, my team is having our last hurrah (of sorts), including our final "Fun Event" Tuesday morning. I put "Fun Event" in quotes because we're going deep sea fishing, and I have to leave the house at 7 am to make it to the boat on time. In my world there are only 2 things in the world that are fun at 7 am, and neither one requires getting out of bed.

So for this delightful team building experience, we'll be meeting up around the time I'm first rolling out of bed on a normal work day and spending the day in un-air conditioned splendor under the burning, hateful gaze of the Day Star, with probably no cell phone signal and definitely no Gir (though I am bringing my old Game Boy, dammit!). The smell of rotting cephalopod chunks will fill the briny air like an Innsmouth toilet as we perform ritual sacrifices to Dagon in the hopes of catching a bunch of fish that I haven't a clue how to prepare (can I just eat the damn things straight out of the water, Gollum-style? My cow-orkers would love that!). Yes, I belong on a fishing trip just as surely as the fish belong in front of a computer writing LJ posts! :-) Meanwhile, work will be piling up back at the office to greet my triumphant return from Certain Watery Doom.

I've been deep sea fishing once before, when I was around 8. The memory of that experience is little more than a hazy vomit montage, so I don't think I had much fun. Now, of course, I have a lot more experience with vomiting than I did in my precocious youth, plus this time I have a cooler with Guinness, Murphy's Stout, and my last battery bottle of Jolt to keep me company, so maybe it won't be so bad this time around.

For some reason, part of me is looking forward to this (the part that doesn't realize that I have to get up in just a few hours, I s'pose). I only wish that while I was at Wal-Mart picking up Dramamine and a hat I'd had the foresight to buy some red or green (or blue or orange!) food coloring to swallow just before we depart, along with maybe some peach slices or a handful of pennies. Hey, if you're gonna hurl anyway, you may as well make it an entertaining and memorable event for everyone, right? :-)

If I don't make it back, forward my mail to R'lyeh. Ia! Ia!
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