March 29th, 2005

Gir on the floor

Geek Porn and Super(cheap) Robots

A couple of fun little things:

* The Smoosh went went mattress shopping last weekend (always a fun scene when four people are trying out mattresses!) and somehow ended up in Big Lots. I, of course, made a beeline for the toy section, where I stumbled across the epitome of cheesy foreign-made toys and Engrish packaging! It's a set of five cheesy robots which (sorta) transform and (sorta) combine to form one mega-cheesy monstrosity called "Superduty Gadder Robot". The copy on the packaging was so badly written that it almost seems as though it had to be deliberate, so of course we had to buy it.

I'd love to give you all a rundown of the package and robots in all their hilarious glory, but a) I'm too lazy to do a full write up, and b) I found that it's already been done, and better than I could've hoped to. So without further adieu, I present to you all Salvation In One!!! (You really do want to check out this link. It's safe for work, and a riot!)

* I mentioned before that I found the coolest porn DVD on the planet while we were at Fantasm. It's called "Haxxxor, vol. 1". It's soft-core, and definitely amateur (which I consider a plus), but it's pure gold in my book! It's a combination porn and hacking instructional video. No joke. Picture lines like "Now that we've compiled nmap, we're going to scan a complete set of class-C IP addresses. Since that'll take a while, I'm going to kill some time by taking off my clothes." you get the idea.

Ernie Klein would be proud- we have found geek porn! There are a couple of instances where you can tell that the girls have no clue what they're saying, and are just reading the script, but that's not always the case. The section where the girl is pretending to masturbate while rambling about cryptography is a bit funnier than I think they intended, and the music (if you could call it that) sounds like someone is murdering an Atari 2600, but overall they get 10 stars out of 5 for concept and being both entertaining and surprisingly educational. The women are hot, but what woman isn't hot while describing man-in-the-middle attacks??? I'm planning on ordering volume 2, which includes (among other things) a striptease tutorial of the OSI model. :-)
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