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...but I'm thinking of picking some people on OKC on the sole basis of their profile photos and sending them this message:

Look, I find you attractive, but our match percentage is terrible. I can already see where this would go:
An initial spark of passion and a couple of exciting-yet-superficial dates...
Awkward sex followed by a slowly growing realization that we have absolutely nothing in common and are ideologically opposed to each other...
...climaxing in an angry, traumatic breakup with lots of shouting and tears.

So I've decided to just skip all of the hassle. I'm going to pick a random valuable object that I own and smash it, saving you the trouble of doing so in a fit of rage.
Please send me your mailing address, as I'll be sending you 10 of my CDs (chosen at random) that you would have "accidentally" taken with you when getting all of your stuff out of my place. In return, please mail me a pair of your underwear, since I would've stolen it anyway.

Angstfully Yours,

P.S.- I'm going to tell everyone that we had sex.

What do you think? Too "real"?


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 4th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC)
:) made me laugh!
Dec. 4th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
Love it!
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Dec. 4th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)

BTW, your Christmas/Yule/Saturnalia/My Birthday userpic is beautiful.
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Dec. 6th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, if I received this I'd think it pretty creepy.
Dec. 5th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)
You will get -so- laid if you send this to people.

You will not be able to stand with the amount of lay that will be coming at you.

I'm not in any way being sarcastic. If I got this, I would be like, "who the hell is this person, and how can I see them without pants on?"

Let's not analyze what that says about me :).
Dec. 7th, 2009 03:27 am (UTC)
I'm... speechless. You realize that I have to send it to you now, right? ;-)
Dec. 7th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Or we could just save time and you could send me a picture of you with your pants off :D
Dec. 5th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
BWAHAHAHA! If in receipt of this I might send an address.. not necessarily MY address.. and depending on the mix of random CD's - stalk you down to get to know further. :) Seems like a big up front investment on your part. Which, perhaps, I like.
Dec. 5th, 2009 11:39 am (UTC)
Utterly brillant! It's unfortunate that those you might actually send this to (low match percentage) wouldn't be nearly as tickled with it as those of us more on similar wavelengths! :D
Dec. 5th, 2009 12:25 pm (UTC)

You must try this, and publish the results.

Hell, I might even try doing something along these lines for fun! :-)
Dec. 5th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
<3. :)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )