Eric (datan0de) wrote,

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Fascist Ticketmaster Bastards!

I meant to post this about a month ago, but I'm still peeved, so I'm just gonna update it and post it anyway.

I'm a fan of capitalism. Really, I am. I am not however a fan of cartels, and when the pricing scheme for something amounts to extortion I get the urge to put on my combat boots and hammer & sickle t-shirt and go find some responsible parties to burninate.

The Police are on a reunion tour. They're one of my favorite bands, and I've longed to see them in concert since I was about 12 (that's 1982 in case you're counting). Of course it's been a pipe dream for most of that time as The Police broke up in '86.

So now they're back together, and they'll be playing at the St. Pete Forum on July 11th. Saying that this is happy news is like saying that oxygen promotes good health. :-)

Now the bad. Tickets on sale March 10th, and the cheap tickets were $50. Okay, no big surprise there considering the awesomeness that is The Police. However, members of "The Police Reunion Tour Fan Club" could buy their tickets early, possibly leaving few or no tickets remaining when they officially went on sale.

Looking at the details, it appears that "The Police Reunion Tour Fan Club" is codespeak for "people willing to pay Ticketmaster $100 for the privilege of giving Ticketmaster even more money". Fascist bastards.

It seems almost like extortion. "Tickets are $50-$250, but if you aren't willing to part with an extra hundred bucks to get to the front of the line you might not be able to get tickets at all!" This, on top of the exorbitant service fees that Ticketmaster tacks on and the fact that they effectively have a monopoly on ticket issuance for events like this puts them high on my "do-not-urinate-on-if-on-fire" list, right under the RIAA, the MPAA, and the FCC.

To that end, my_affair and I have come up with a fitting form of vigilante retribution against Ticketmaster for after the revolution. The Ticketmaster execs should all be stuck in a slow line leading up to a volcano. Every 15 minutes or so whoever is at the front of the line gets tossed in. This will both build anticipation over their inevitable fiery doom and bore the crap out of them as they wait... and wait... and wait.

But wait! (snicker) If they pay an extra hundred bucks they can go to the back of the line! Eventually of course they'll run out of money of course, so they're really just delaying the inevitable, but that's just part of the fun!

Now all we need is a volcano! ;-)

Post Script: After jumping through numerous hoops, trying and failing to take advantage of other promotions, etc., we did end up getting some very bad tickets behind the band. While I still support the volcano plan I am delighted that I'm going to finally get to see The Police in concert! *squee!*
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