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"When it rains it pours"

I've been hearing that a lot lately. I've been thinking it a lot too, and wish it wasn't so damned appropriate.

It's been a rough week for a lot of people close to me. It's really starting to get me down. In no particular order:

* My father-in-law is dying. This isn't new, but his condition is more or less steadily declining, and he's in the last phases now. He's a really great guy. As much as nobody deserves to have to go through something like this, it's particularly unfair in this case. It's especially hard on his wife Pat, who's doing an absolutely heroic job of keeping herself together in such a heartbreaking situation.

* To add further misery to the above situation, their dog just died. Can't let Pat catch any breaks at all now, can we? :-(

* I found out on Monday that the father of my best friend from high school/college, Donald, just lost his father on Friday. The funeral was on Monday.

* On Sunday we got e-mail from my sister and brother in law letting us know that Dylan, my nephew and godson, is very likely autistic. This has been the most on my mind this week, and I've been spending a lot of time at work reading up on autism when I really should be working. Dylan (who turns 3 in December) is a great kid, and contrary to the stereotype is quite affectionate. (He also bears an uncanny physical resemblance to me at that age.) It's pretty well known that there is a genetic predisposition to autism. Since I've wondered at times if I perhaps have Asperger's Syndrome (a very mild form of autism that usually shows up after childhood) this doesn't really surprise me. However, if it does turn out that he's autistic then I think that his chances are good. His vocabulary is well behind where it should be, but the fact that he can speak at all at his age is a very good sign that he's high functioning. More importantly, he couldn't be in a better environment. My sister and brother in law are attentive, intelligent, loving parents, my mom lives close by and loves doting on her grandsons, and his big brother Zack watches out for him too.

* Update! While I've been typing this up I found out that a close co-worker of mine's 16 year old daughter just found out that she's pregnant. He's understandably un-delighted.



( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 18th, 2006 08:38 pm (UTC)
We're here if you need us, and we will have lots of hugs and alcohol for you Saturday! :)
Oct. 19th, 2006 12:49 am (UTC)
Oct. 19th, 2006 11:36 am (UTC)
I find that these things, unfortunately, cluster together. I'm so sorry that you and those close to you are going through so many times of trouble. The beginning of this year (literally the first 4 months) were filled in this manner for me and those close to me (4 deaths, a life-threatening disease and financial set-backs, to name just a few) and that journey has completely changed me (I'm still fundamentally who I always was, but made some life choices that freed me to be closer to who I really am). Perhaps there are some great changes in store for you, as well.

I know that if your nephew does turn out to be Autistic that, as you say, he will be in the best place that he can be and will still be able to have a very rich and fulfilling life. It will not be the life that you would have wanted for him (nobody wants illness of any kind), but with those folks around him (including you) he will have everything HE could want or need. My boss has a 14-year old son who is autistic. He is also going through chemotherapy for cancer on his liver, which is a transplant he received when he was 3. He has been in and out of hospitals so much that it is just "old hat" for him now and his attitude, happiness, and joy in his life have been an inspiration to all of those around him to appreciate what we have, and enjoy the little things. Sometimes we get so caught up in the big-stuff around us that we forget how enjoyable the small things in life are. May your nephew help you each day to enjoy the small things.
Oct. 19th, 2006 12:58 pm (UTC)
*hugs* We are thinking of you. Regarding autism, the best thing you can do is be well informed, I think. The fact that he is speaking, is also a very good sign, as you had said.

As far as the 16 year old, on the bright side, she doesn't have a life long or life threatening std.....
Oct. 19th, 2006 02:38 pm (UTC)
Oct. 20th, 2006 12:46 am (UTC)
Here's a link to my friend Jen's blog. Her son has Asperger's. She is a font of knowledge and reassurance and honesty. You and/or your sister should look her up.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )