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Sacrifice to Dagon

Today marked my last Monday as an official employee of The Company. Next Monday I officially become "contractor scum", with all of the insecurity and pay cut that goes along with that. For now though, my team is having our last hurrah (of sorts), including our final "Fun Event" Tuesday morning. I put "Fun Event" in quotes because we're going deep sea fishing, and I have to leave the house at 7 am to make it to the boat on time. In my world there are only 2 things in the world that are fun at 7 am, and neither one requires getting out of bed.

So for this delightful team building experience, we'll be meeting up around the time I'm first rolling out of bed on a normal work day and spending the day in un-air conditioned splendor under the burning, hateful gaze of the Day Star, with probably no cell phone signal and definitely no Gir (though I am bringing my old Game Boy, dammit!). The smell of rotting cephalopod chunks will fill the briny air like an Innsmouth toilet as we perform ritual sacrifices to Dagon in the hopes of catching a bunch of fish that I haven't a clue how to prepare (can I just eat the damn things straight out of the water, Gollum-style? My cow-orkers would love that!). Yes, I belong on a fishing trip just as surely as the fish belong in front of a computer writing LJ posts! :-) Meanwhile, work will be piling up back at the office to greet my triumphant return from Certain Watery Doom.

I've been deep sea fishing once before, when I was around 8. The memory of that experience is little more than a hazy vomit montage, so I don't think I had much fun. Now, of course, I have a lot more experience with vomiting than I did in my precocious youth, plus this time I have a cooler with Guinness, Murphy's Stout, and my last battery bottle of Jolt to keep me company, so maybe it won't be so bad this time around.

For some reason, part of me is looking forward to this (the part that doesn't realize that I have to get up in just a few hours, I s'pose). I only wish that while I was at Wal-Mart picking up Dramamine and a hat I'd had the foresight to buy some red or green (or blue or orange!) food coloring to swallow just before we depart, along with maybe some peach slices or a handful of pennies. Hey, if you're gonna hurl anyway, you may as well make it an entertaining and memorable event for everyone, right? :-)

If I don't make it back, forward my mail to R'lyeh. Ia! Ia!


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 28th, 2005 04:15 am (UTC)
Purge in living color
No need for food coloring - just pick up some Cheetos and a red Gatorade. Mix that in your stomach with the Guinness and a nice choppy boat ride, and voila! Technicolor vomit!
Jun. 29th, 2005 03:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Purge in living color
What a great idea! The Dramamine worked, so there was no vomiting, but I'll keep that in mind the next time the state fair is in town and they have a Gravitron! :-)
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 28th, 2005 12:20 pm (UTC)
sunscreen, dont forget sunscreen. your pasty computer lovin self is probably gonna get burned. i could be wrong but i only see you under artificial light so thats what im basing my assumption on
Jun. 29th, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
Yup. You're absolutely correct. We fears the sun! We hates it!!! HATES IT WE DOES!!!

I used lots of sunscreen, wore a hat, and put off getting my hair cut until afterward. As a result, the only part that got burned is a small patch at the base of my throat (just below where those people on Penn & Teller were breaking arrows), and that doesn't even hurt! :-)
Jun. 29th, 2005 10:45 am (UTC)
So, did you catch anything?
Jun. 29th, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC)
Yup. I caught one fish that was large enough to keep. Our group as a whole didn't do very well, as between four of us we caught & kept just 4 fish. Our boss breaded 'em and fried 'em, then brought them in for us to snack on today. Not great, but not bad, and I contributed to the hunt, so that makes me happy.
Jun. 29th, 2005 08:14 pm (UTC)
Well ain't that somethin' ...next thing ya know you'll be out shootin' deer. ;-)
Jun. 29th, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
If you were any other man, I would UNFRIEND you where you stand!
Jun. 30th, 2005 05:06 am (UTC)
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )